Soggy Bottom

Some of you might not know this yet, but this week my office reverted into its probably prehistoric habitat. That is, it became a swamp.

For some ungodly (and as yet unexplained) reason, when I came in at 6:30am on Tuesday, all excited for a productive day, I found that my office carpet was wet. Soaking wet. Puddle wet. No random mild carpet sweat here, no siree.

And of course I did not realize this as a normal person would, by hearing their shoes squelch and noticing their carpet was ten shades darker than the carpet in the corridor. Oh no, not I. I noticed it by deciding that my shoes were wet, and taking them off. And then having the office floor puddle creep up my socks and into the very core of my bones. And then by staring at the ground. And pressing it with my hands. That's right. And I paid $35K for my Master's Degree. Plus interest.

I, of course, then spent the next five minutes scouting out the neighboring offices on my haunches, pressing my palms into their floors. Not on my initial to-do list. But done. (I obviously added it to my to-do list post-facto, and checked it off.) (This was my only sense of accomplishment that day.)

Apparently maintenance didn't take my early reports ("Erm, my office is flooded.") very seriously, because no-one bothered to dry the swamp for days. Only after I finally cornered one hapless maintenance guy and corralled him into my office and then forcefully jumped up and down on my carpet to show him how it splashed, did they finally figure out that I meant it when I chose the word "flooded" and not "damp."

I have the fan blowing on it right now. Now it's damp. And it smells. Stankelicious. Pee-euw.

Ahem. And so I found the comic thing below pretty damn hilarious. :)


What I don't have to do:


And just because I expect you sorry lot haven't read this yet... ;)