When a Colleague Tells You He Has a Brain Tumor...

So, a really fun colleague of mine recently informed the staff that he had a brain tumor and would be in hospital the following week to have it removed.

Now, he's the kind of guy who's always up for a laugh. ALWAYS. And always looks at the positive. He's actually had cancer before and survived, and I think that his strength comes from his positive outlook and his insistence on living life with a laugh.

When he told the staff, there was a deep silence. No-one really knew what to say, and I think all of us were in shock and praying he would be fine. You don't expect the person most full of life to die first, but that's a very real possibility.

Being me, I broke the silence with a quip: "Honestly, I can't believe the depths you'll go to to get time off work!"

***

Before he went in for surgery, he had time to play one more prank on me.

On the Day of Rest

I was working on Saturday, and as some of you may know, I work in a Jewish organization. There was therefore doubly no godly reason for me to pick up the phone when it rang, but I did.

I didn't recognize the voice on the other end of the line. The man introduced himself as a representative from a Jewish organization in a certain city in the US. I cursed myself for picking up the phone, and affected good cheer as I asked him how I could help. Well, he tells me, he is interested in us doing research and training in his city. "Oh, how wonderful!" I remark, mentally bashing my head on my desk. Yes, he answers, and says in fact he's in town and was wondering if we have any staff in Brooklyn with whom he could talk to more about it. I'm shocked at his audacity. Not only is he calling on Shabbat--which is forbidden officially--but now he's wanting to work, which is actually the real thing God is supposed to have forbidden on Shabbat, and he's wanting one of our staff to take off time from their weekend to work with him!! I respond with alacrity and invite him to our offices in Manhattan, again cursing that I ever picked up the phone since I clearly will not be accomplishing any of the work I actually planned to blow my weekend on. But..he pauses..the thing is, he informs me, is that he's in Brooklyn and doesn't feel comfortable driving on Shabbat.

I almost die. I am flabbergasted. This is a man who heads a Jewish institution, who is calling another one on Shabbat, and who is wanting to work on Shabbat, but who won't drive on Shabbat??? My jaw drops. I literally can't articulate a word. Now, in this job I've often thought to myself that Jews are crazy, but now I know it for a fact.

I'm still hearing his words repeat in my head when he speaks again. I don't hear it. He repeats, "and can we have the first consultation in the nude?"

And then the light cracks. "RICHARD!!!!! You #$%**^@!!!!!!" I holler. And then I check, more professionally--"richard?" Yes indeed, I have been fooled. And I vowed to get him back. :)

**
He returned on Thursday, looking none the worse for wear, which is incredible. He was quite himself.

On Wednesday, my friend and colleague Denyse and I had gotten a little prank into our heads. With a pleasure that is possibly inappropriate to feel while in one's workplace, we got our butts into gear to launch:

Project Troll

Now it so happened that Denyse had recently gotten a new keychain. Several years back, you see, she had accidentally dropped her keys down the elevator shaft. (Stop smirking--you know you've worried about doing that, too!)

As a result, she insists on buying the hugest, lumpiest, least discreet objects to connect to her keys. Recently, I swear to you, it was a long, squiggly soft monkey thing that, had it been structured to stand upright, would reach up to her thighs. Yeah.

Anyway, her last squidgy toy apparently kept falling off, so she'd bought a little troll doll.

And that's when the evil plot gelled. I looked at the troll, it looked at me. It was...instant.


And so Denyse and I began posing this little troll doll in the office, and I began snapping shots of it like some sort of Vogue photographer on crack. We got the shots developed, and then the hard part...making sure Richard didn't enter his office while I was still in it...preparing.

I grabbed another colleague and implored her to keep him out--I don't care what you do, I said, you can tell him sobbingly that you're considering a sex change, you can tell him you're thinking of quitting, anything...just keep him out while I'm in there!

And then we hastily replaced all of his family photographs--and he has a good seven beautiful shots of his two kids--with pictures of this purple-haired troll. *snicker* And added one on the cabinet in a new magnetic frame.

I can't tell you the pleasure it gave us. :)

And we exchanged each and every single one, so he literally kept finding them all day :) I don't know if he's found the cabinet one yet... :)


--> to see more pictures of him (and as soon as I can post it, also a picture of Richard's desk with our "little" changes), go to the "My Online Photo Album" link on the right, under the link to Kasia's blog :) That brings you to my photo sets; you can click on "Office Prank" to see the photos of this particular exploit :)