Gym Enlightenment

On Boxing

So, we thought that the gym's Introduction to Boxing class would help us express and get out our aggression and frustration. By we, I mean the Good Jody. I thought it would be a lark, and as she's joined me for our weekly Total Body Conditioning class, I'm hardly going to refuse the opportunity to bounce around and aggressively attack a lifeless ball of leather.

At our first class, we learnt the basic moves, or in my case, rather pointedly failed to do so (other than apparently proving that I have a natural sense of "the left hook"). Then, we were positioned on either side of a boxing bag. The instructor held it still, and guided us to each punch the bag for all we were worth, at great speed, for 10 seconds. And again. And then 15 seconds.

Finally, we prepared to move to 20 seconds of pummeling the boxing bag.

This is a sad thing I'm about to relate. For usually in my life, you see, I don't consider 20 seconds to be an interminable length of time...

So, there we are, Jody and I, envisioning what annoys us most in life, and priming up to begin our 20 seconds. The instructor peps us up: "Think about your boss, your ex," he says, "let me see how angry you are!" And then the countdown began.

20-19-18-17....

After 15 seconds, my energy is beginning to drop. Jody and I are kind of free-falling our punches, whacking hard but with no real speed.

The instructor jibes us: "What? You call this hard??! You call this fast??"

We let loose with more slow punches.
And then the taunts begin.

"You love your boss! You love your ex! You adore your boss!"

"No, no!" I plaintively wail.

"You adore your boss! You love him!"

"No, no!" I wail between punches, "but maybe I don't hate him enough!!"


And so we conclusively proved it. Neither Jody nor I hate any aspect of our jobs enough to fill 20 seconds.

Yeah. Who knew. Boxing can sure be revealing.