When Tomorrow Starts Without Me...

I'm just back from London, where I attended our friend Liz's funeral. Life is such a gift, and there's nothing like the death of someone who knew how to love people and life and laughter to remind one of all that is important in life.

Which means, of course, that I am indulging in an existential delimma about what I should do with my life now that I've been reminded that it's our loved ones and our capacity to love and live which makes life the gift it is. And so living life to the fullest means loving it and loving our family and friends to the fullest...pain and joy and care and all. And cultivating ourselves and our relationships, and realizing our potential for love and life.

I'm pasting two things in here for my own memory-album. First is the poem that was recited at Liz's funeral by her daughter-in-law. Liz was a religious Catholic, and this poem comforts along those lines, I think. The second is my e-mail to Liz before she died, and which one of her daughters read to her at the hospice.

**

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
by David Romano

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you,
and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you".
Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
and now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand
and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

**

Subject: with love
Date: Tue 3/28/2006 9:43 AM

Dear Liz,

I wanted to say thank you to you, for being such a great friend and such a great example of how to live life. You’ve given laughter, love, faith, strength and inspiration to me, and I’ll always cherish the gift of knowing you. I hope you draw strength and comfort from the love for you in all of our hearts.

God bless you and your family.

With lots of love,
Ruth